So on Feb. 28 of last year (2013), I looked like this:
Yes, I was wearing flip-flops in the winter because my feet were so swollen. And no, I would not smile for the camera. For comparison, this was me right before I found out I was pregnant:
Forty pounds later, I was ready to have my baby!
One year ago today was Liam’s due date and also the day I entered the hospital – but not because I was in labor. In fact, my body was nowhere near ready. My little stinker didn’t arrive until five days later on March 5.
I entered the hospital because it was discovered that I had pre-eclampsia.
When writing from my blog was published on CNN, I read through some of the comments. I had planned NOT to, recognizing the types of comments trolls usually leave, however, the editors asked me to engage with people who left comments to show that I am a real person. So I did. Wish I hadn’t. Live and learn.
This comment bothered me the most: “You have a baby! Just be grateful! You have no idea what some people go through to have a baby.” And you have no idea what I went through to have a baby. (Side note, what the heck about my article made people think I’m ungrateful for my child? Sheesh. Moving on.)
Over the course of the next five days I am going to be chronicling my journey to my Liam. It’s a journey that is amazing to me, sad, extremely happy, joyous, terrifying, and to this day, still traumatizing.
If I do bone-headed mom-things in the next five days I will still be sure to write confessions about them, but be warned: I plan to post confessions that are very dear to me and very heartbreaking at the same time. But I’ll keep them lighthearted and leave out the gross. I promise.
One year ago today at 10:00 pm I got a call from my midwife – it was confirmed – I had pre-eclampsia and needed to come in to be induced before it go worse. I was both pissed and relieved.
Pissed because I did not want to be induced. I had planned to have a drug-free labor and delivery with my midwife and my doula, championing my womanhood, birds singing, rainbows overhead, etc. etc. 🙂 Also I was pissed because WTF, MAN!? I had eaten healthy and worked out my entire pregnancy (kickboxing, running and lifting until 28 weeks, instructing kickboxing and lifting classes until 32 weeks, and then swimming laps to the end – in fact, I swam laps with my husband this very day, one year ago. I highly recommend pregnant swimming – you feel like a floating elephant, and it is awesome). I knew that pre-eclampsia could affect any pregnant woman, no matter of her health, but I was still mad and kind of felt like I had failed.
However, I was also relieved. I was relieved because OMG I was uncomfortable. And, I was excited to meet my baby, of course.
So we left the house and the journey began. At midnight I was hooked up to everything I hadn’t wanted to be hooked up to: an IV, external fetal monitor, and was started on cervidil because I was no where near ready for labor. We went to sleep that night with the anticipation of soon meeting our little one.
No one told me “soon” could mean five days later…