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My Body is a Canvas

Markers are fun, aren’t they?

Coloring 1 Coloring 2

My kid is an ART. PRODIGY.

Coloring 3

Is it bad that I don’t even care that he colored all over himself? At least it wasn’t a wall.

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The Scream

My kid has pipes. Not plumber pipes, not a musical instrument, and no, he doesn’t have biceps like his dad (yet). Liam can SCREAM.

He’s almost two and at this awesome developmental stage, he often gets frustrated because he doesn’t yet have the vocabulary to express his emotions or let us know his wants/needs.

So he screams.

Sometimes he screams so hard his little face turns red and he makes himself cough. When that happens, we tell him he’s not a monster, he’s a little boy. Whatevs. I’d rather have him express himself vocally than throw toys or hit.

However, Liam is like his daddy when it comes to being frustrated… they both go from 0-50 in like 0.2 seconds. Me, on the other hand – I’m like a teapot: I can remain under control and calm when I’m frustrated or stressed, but if I’m continuously pushed, my blood pressure will boil and boil until GAME OVER.

Except for yesterday. Yesterday, I wasn’t a teapot. Yesterday, I too, was a monster.

It went down like this:

I was helping Liam with a little Nerf gun. Showing him to put the darts in and pull the loader back to shoot the darts. Apparently I wasn’t working fast enough for him because out of nowhere came the monster-child with a scream so shrill and loud that it totally startled me. In a completely involuntary response, I screamed too – LOUDLY – because his scream literally scared the shit out of me. And my scream scared the shit out of him.

SO there we were. Both silent. Both staring at each other trying to figure out what the fuck just happened. I handed him back the Nerf gun and away he went, like nothing happened. Like The Scream was just that: a ghost of the past.

The Scream by Edvard Munch, 1893

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Happy New Year!

Happy New Year! I haven’t posted in awhile… you might think it’s because the holidays can be busy. While that is true, the real reason is because of this sequence of events:

  1. Liam got sick
  2. I got sick
  3. Husband got sick
  4. I got sick
  5. Liam got sick
  6. Husband got sick
  7. I got sick
  8. I got better briefly
  9. I got sick
  10. BLAH

In conclusion, OMG everyone has been sick. Over the past five weeks or so, I’ve experienced everything from that pesky runny nose that comes on suddenly and without warning running like a faucet down your face, to feeling like I was getting stabbed in the throat every time I swallowed, to cleaning up toddler puke (not spit-up, PUKE – what kind? “CHUNKY!”) to finally, as my husband kindly puts it, having “the Hershey squirts.”

Let me tell you, you have not lived until you have cleaned up chunky toddler puke twice in one night. It was the oddest thing – Liam puked, and then acted totally normal. Running around his room playing and being a goofball. I called an on-call nurse at 3:30 am not because I was worried he had puked twice that night already, but because I didn’t know what to do with a randomly-puking toddler. Like, do you just put him back in his crib and hope he doesn’t puke again? Yes – the answer is yes you do. Well, Ok then. I got lucky – no round three on the toddler-puke-wagon.

Now, taking care of and cleaning up after a pooping husband, that is something else entirely and we are just not going to get into that part of my holiday break. “The end” on that portion.

It’s been en eventful holiday season. Beyond the sickness we have been so cheerfully passing around our family, we were invited to two New Year’s Eve parties…. both of which got cancelled. One due to Influenza A and the other due to pink eye. GAH!

Still, the holidays were filled with family and joy and cheer. Here are a few pictures of Liam with his favorite Christmas gifts: his child-sized Dyson vacuum cleaner and “Baby Levi.”

vacuum

baby levi

Happy New Year and be well, everyone!